Where's the Instruction Manual for Life as a Mom?
Mar 29, 2021
Parenting is hard- wouldn’t you agree? It doesn’t come with an instruction book and even if it did, I probably would have lost it by now!
I did have a stack of books that told me best practices. I was a big fan of What to Expect When Expecting. Even before giving birth, I was already a few chapters into What to Expect the First Year.
I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what to expect when it came to birthing and raising a baby.
This makes me laugh now! There isn’t a book on earth that could have prepared me for my life after having babies.
I suppose I found comfort thinking that I was prepared. Comfort in thinking that all births and children were universal and that if I just learned what I needed to do as a mom, then life would be amazing!
After having six kids, I’m pretty sure I could write a book on the topic, but fact is, I have no idea what I’m doing!
I recall a few years ago, telling my brother about something that happened to one of my daughters (I can’t even remember what the incident was), but I remember feeling like a horrible mom.
You know what he said “Onnie, your kids are going to grow up and blame their problems on you, it’s just what we do. There’s no point hating on yourself because you are doing the best you can with what you’ve got.”
It made sense! I am doing the best I can, with what I’ve got.
I can read books and try to be consistent with consequences and be fully present with them and do “all the things” but when it comes down to it, I am who I am.
I am not perfect so why was I trying to be perfect and then feeling horrible for not being able to be? I was my own worst enemy, really.
It took some time for me to come to terms with my brother’s statement and for me to realize that it’s totally okay not to be perfect.
And I have to admit, there are times when I am running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to do “all the things” when his words echo in my mind.
It’s in these moments that I have to slow down and change the self-talk. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do everything that the book says, whatever that book is, to be a good mom.
I am enough.
#Parenting #IAmEnough #NoInstructions #BestVersion #Imperfect
Onnie Michalsky, M.A.
Counselor, Coach, Recovering Super-Mom
Onnie, a trusted counselor and life coach, helps busy moms prioritize their own well-being and reclaim their identity beyond the role of mom. She knows that by putting yourself on your own to-do list, you can say goodbye to stress and exhaustion and hello to being the best version of yourself. This blog provides valuable tools and inspiration to help you prioritize your well-being while managing the demands of everyday mom life.
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